I have a bunch of these. I won't continue posting them if no one's interested, though... I'll post the rating and spoiler level at the top of the post. As some of these are very short, I might include two or three in a post.

Stories on this post:
Theme Music Rated G. No spoilers.
Guilty Rated G. Spoilers for Dead Man's Chest



Theme Music
“Wouldn’t life be grand if I had me own personal choir announcing me presence wherever I go? It’d tell the world that this is Captain Jack Sparrow, who’s no man to be trifled with. Hmm, I suppose you’d do for starters. Sing with me, mate! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me! C’mon, Will; don’t tell me your bonny lass hasn’t sung that for you! Decent voice she’s got, that Elizabeth, even if she is a lousy, rotten rum-burner.”

“Jack, my friend…”

“Yes?”

“For the love of God, please shut up.”

“You’re no fun, you know that?”



Guilty
The longboat rocked amidst a storm of towering waves. It was easier for Elizabeth to focus on that, and the dark, treacherous ocean beneath them, than to face the hurt poorly concealed in Will's eyes, than to remember...

To remember the way Jack's lips felt against hers, on the deck of his dying Pearl. The way she had chained him to the mast, taking away the one thing he valued most - his freedom. The way he had accepted her betrayal, with understanding and even...fondness. "Pirate." It was surreal how well he understood her, sometimes.

Two men, betrayed. She could rationalize her actions as much as she wanted - that she had only cheated on her fiancé to ensure his safety, that the incorrigible, invincible Captain Jack Sparrow would escape, somehow - but acknowledgment of the truth was inevitable.

Despite her excuses, despite her lies, Elizabeth Swann felt guilty.

I like Theme Music. xDD
PotC is the greatest set of movies on earth. =D

Yes that is very true. Those are great!

Agreed. Thus my name on here. :XD: (Also, glad you like "Theme Music"!)

Stories contained in this post:

The "C-Word" - PG. Spoiler-free. (Edited slightly for content...link to the original provided on request, but it's only one line and really doesn't change anything.)
Kraken - PG. Dead Man's Chest spoilers. (Although it's probably more G-rated than anything...I had to cut out the one mild swear word in it to keep from angering the censor. Oh well. Again, link to original on request.)
Names - PG. Spoiler-free. (Again, had to remove a mild swear word. Stupid censor...)



The "C-Word"
Jack was sitting on the edge of the pier, his booted feet dangling into the water, when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked up, meeting the eyes of one Elizabeth Swann, who was currently wringing her hands and blushing faintly. “Something the matter, luv?”

Elizabeth’s cheeks turned a bright red, and she looked away, saying, “I, umm… Will and I have been talking, and it’s just that we… We decided that we weren’t really sure whether it would work between the two of us, and…”

“And?” Jack quirked an eyebrow.

If it was possible, her cheeks reddened even more. “I just wanted to tell you that, well, if you wanted to court me, you could, as long as you were willing to commit–”

Jack instantly bolted. If there was one thing he had learned during his years as a pirate, it was that, regardless of anything else, once a woman started talking about commitment, it was time to run as if the demons of Hell themselves were after him.


Kraken
It was as terrifying as the stories said, Jack reflected as it bore down on him and his ship. Magnificent, too, in a wet-your-pants-man-that-was-scary sort of way. Evil? A definite understatement. As evil as Barbossa? Possibly. It was a dumb beast, after all. And it was trying to kill him – couldn’t forget that.

When he thought about it, he realized that the kraken was probably a very useful creature, once one gained some manner of control over it. Perhaps he’d have to consider liberating it from ol’ Davy Jones, once he got out of this mess…

If he got out of this mess. Bugger. Well, he could at least ensure that no man would ever say that Captain Jack Sparrow went down without a fight.

Hmm. At least the beastie didn’t smell as bad as rumored. In fact, if it weren’t for that whole stench of rancid flesh, it wouldn’t smell half bad at all. It had big teeth, too, but there was no backing down now.

“Hello, beastie.”


Names
“Hmm… What sounds best: Elizabeth Turner or Elizabeth Sparrow? Oh, or Elizabeth Norrington. Can’t forget me old friend, the commodore. Still, looks like you’ve got us all beat, Will.”

“What? Oh, thanks, I think.”

“What about Beth, though? Beth Sparrow, Beth Turner… Curse you and your bloody Turnerness.”

“Jack, what…?”

“Anamaria, then. No, she’s not the marriageable type, is she? Far too feisty. So, then, what sounds better, Jack Turner or Will Sparrow? Bugger. Definitely the former.”

Will boggled at his friend. “Jack, what the hell…?”

“Wait, though. Jack Turner doesn’t sound very piratical, does it? Guess you and Beth are on your own, then, mate.” With a dazzling white and gold grin, Jack left.

Will sighed. It was probably better if he didn’t ask.

Very good. I like the end of the C-Word one. :)

Those are great, too. xD

Very funny! Keep em coming!

I'm glad you guys are liking these so far! I'm starting to run out, but I still have enough for a couple posts, at least.

Stories in this post:

Secret - (mild) PG. No spoilers.
The Art of Not Getting Yourself Killed - G, no spoilers.
(There was actually one written between these two, but I need to come up with a new name for it that won't trigger the filter... :XD: Not that the title is particularly bad...)



Secret
"'ey, luv?"

Elizabeth sat up from where she lay on the sand, her head spinning. She had drunk more rum than she had planned - Captain Jack Sparrow was sharper than she had anticipated, even given his increasingly drunken state.

Jack grinned at her from across the fire, his face slightly reddened from the alcohol he had consumed. "Can you keep a secret?"

"A secret?" she half-slurred, biting her lip. She would have to be more careful. "What sho - sort of secret?"

Her companion crossed over to her side of the fire more gracefully than she would have thought possible, considering his inebriation and kissed her on the lips, firmly but gently. Elizabeth's face warmed, and she knew it wasn't the rum. "That sort."



The Art of Not Getting Yourself Killed
"Jack. Please explain what the bloody hell you were thinking."

"Ah, Elizabeth, but that would take all night, and I'm sure a lady of your...stature doesn't have the time."

"Shut up and start explaining."

"I can't. Contradiction in terms and all that."

"You know what I meant."

"Actually, Lizzie darling, I do not. Care to explain?"

"You're the one who has a lot of explaining to do, Captain Jack Sparrow, and I happen to have plenty of time to hear it."

"Well, the Black Pearl just happened to be in this general neck of the woods - or the sea, rather - and I figured I might as well visit me lovely old lady friend - that is, you. That's what you wanted to hear, eh? So I might as well take my leave..."

"Not yet, Mr. Sparrow. Please explain why you had to break into the mansion, steal two and a half pigs, smearing their blood all over the hallway in the process, scare the bejeezus out of one of the maids, break two very expensive vases, commandeer another, set fire to my father's wig, and allow in fourteen vagabonds and the odd goat?"

"There are some things, love, that defy explanation. Savvy?"

"No, you incorrigible...!"

"Thank you."

"That was not intended as a compliment!"

AHA!

*pees self laughing*

ZOMG I LOVES THEM!

Names is DEF my fave!!

I like your member title, Kazoo. *grins*

Stories in this post:

Of Virgin Queens - PG, for themes only (and a touch of alcohol-usage...but then again, less than is in the movie!). The original title isn't something I could get away with here, but I liked it better. That's all I've changed, though. No spoilers. Set during Dead Man's Chest.
Liar, Liar, Hair on Fire - PG-13, though that may have just been an intentionally high guess...only two edits, amazingly enough - just a couple mild swear words.

Of Virgin Queens
Elizabeth Swann's name had always drawn comparisons to the famed Queen Elizabeth. And in reality, their personalities may in fact have been quite similar, given that both were strong-willed women. She couldn't say for certain, however, as she had never met the late queen...

Well, she reflected, as she drank from the bottle of rum that Jack Sparrow had handed her, the queen had most likely never been in a situation like this! Given that she was on a pirate ship in the middle of the Caribbean, caught in the middle of an almost-love triangle between an unhygienic but oddly attractive pirate captain and her fiancé, the man they were supposedly trying to rescue.

Oh well. Who really wanted to be a virgin queen, anyway?

Liar, Liar, Hair on Fire
He should've known it would be a terrible day when his bunk collapsed, sending him tumbling to the floor of his cabin in the wee hours of the morning. He should have commandeered a hammock from his crew and gone back to sleep, but he didn't. He went out to face the day, and now his hair was on fire. Stupid, stupid, bloody stupid.

It started as a routine raid on a merchant vessel. Pillaging, plundering...doing all those typical pirate-y things (well, typical unless you're pirates who don't do anything...) But, as they realized upon boarding the ship, these merchants were very, very stupid. And stupid people who've been backed into a corner can be the most dangerous. It was a ship delivering live chickens to Cuba, and someone foolishly released all of them. Many of the pirates would have interesting beak- and claw-scars after this, he was sure. Also, many of the merchant sailors had thrown whatever was at hand at the marauding pirates, many of them missing and hitting each other. A rather large barrel had hit the merchant captain in the back of his head, knocking him out instantly, but many of the pirates were injured as well. He was pretty sure Gibbs was developing a good-sized knot on his forehead from someone's peg leg, and when a lantern hit Jack upside the head...well, let's just say that his hair, greasy as it was, was surprisingly flammable.

"Captain, we've secured the ship!"

"Good for you, innit?" he grumbled. "Sure took you long enough."

"Umm, Captain...your hair..."

"I'm aware of that. Now will you please put the bloody fire out already, you twit? Or else...I'll tear out your bloody innards and feed them to the bleeding sharks, savvy?"

A meek salute. "Yes, sir!"

~*~

"Jack! Elizabeth is..." Will trailed off. "Jack, is that...is that a wig?!"

"Shut up, William."