Has your cousin thrown your game out the window? Has your Game Boy frozen up? Are you just really paranoid about playing them after a dream of death? Or is your household planning to become Amish (just saying that word makes me yell! :angry:) and are your video games going in the trash?

Well, if you're still visiting this page, you must still have the Internet. And to conduct a fully-functioning, perfectly-random Pokémon battle, the only other tool you need is an ordinary six-sided die.

Yes, a die.
*catches amazed yells from audience* And some paper.
Here is a guide on how to do it.

1. Take out your die and roll it once.
If you get a one or two, write down the number 1. If you get a three or four, write down the number 129. If you get a five or six, write down the number 257.

2. Roll your die seven more times. Don't do anything if your roll is odd. If your roll is even, add on the following numbers:
Even first roll - add 1
Even second roll - add 2
Even third roll - add 4
Even fourth roll - add 8
Even fifth roll - add 16
Even sixth roll - add 32
Even seventh roll - add 64

3. Go to Serebii.net and look up the number that you got on the Pokédex. Now, translate it into a Pokémon.

4. Repeat steps 1 through 3 two more times to give you two more Pokémon on your team.

5. Now it gets a little trickier. Roll the dice. This roll is called the crucial roll -- remember that name, as it will be used later. If you got a...
one, go to this page.
two, go to this page.
three, go to this page.
four, go to this page.
five, go to this page.
six, go to this page.

6. Look around the general page and see how far advanced (i.e. evolved) the Pokémon are, and evolve yours to match. For example, if most of the Pokémon are first evolutions, make yours first evolutions as well. If most of them are tricky final evolutions, be sure to evolve all your own Pokémon as far as they can go.

Will be continued after school...

Nice! Very nice! *adds 1000000000000 more verys* I liky! I can't think of anything else!!!

Thanks for the praise.
It's basically Dungeons & Dragons converted into a Pokémon game.

7. To find the level of your Pokémon, take the crucial roll and multiply it by fifteen. If you got a one, it would be level 15; if you got a two, it would be level 30; and so on, and so forth.

8. Now it's time to see exactly who your opponent is. If the crucial roll was a one, go to step 9b (skipping over step 9a); if it was any other roll, go to step 9a (skipping over step 9b).

9a. Roll the dice three times. If your first roll is odd, write "20"; if it's even, don't do anything. If your second roll is a six, roll again; otherwise, multiply the roll by four and write down the product. If your third roll is a five or six, roll again; otherwise, simply write down the roll. Add all your written numbers together, and finally, subtract 5.

9b. Roll the dice four times. If the first roll is odd, write "50"; if it's even, don't do anything. If your second roll is odd, write "25"; if it's even, don't do anything. If your third roll is a six, roll again; otherwise, multiply the roll by five and write down the product. If your fourth roll is a six, roll again; otherwise, simply write down the roll. Add all your written numbers together, and finally, subtract 6.

10. Whew! That must have been some pretty hard math. Luckily, the hardest part is over. The only thing left to do is a quick addition. Remember the crucial roll? If it was a...
...one, do nothing.
...two, add 80 to your total.
...three, add 100 to your total.
...four, add 120 to your total.
...five, add 140 to your total.
...six, add 160 to your total.

11. Go to the web page you visited that had all the Pokémon and trainer pictures on it. You will see that the trainers are sorted in numerical order; find the trainer with the same number as the total you just received. Whoever you find will be your opponent! So shake hands with him or her(maybe by drawing him or her and cutting him or her out of paper...?)

12. To find his or her Pokémon, go back to steps 1 through 3 and repeat them three times to give him or her three different kinds. Of course, you should evolve them to match. After all that hard calculation, preparation & ball of confusion, it's finally time to get this battle
under way...

Ooh, interesting! But I am lazy. Ha ha. I'll just read.

I've been following along with the process as I post it. Right now, I'm in a level 30 battle using a :qwilfish:, :gloom: and :aerodactyl: against a guy named Tamon and his :larvitar:, :bayleef: and :duskull:.

Anyhoo, on with the show...

13. You can give the participants nicknames if you want. In the example battle, I'm using the nicknames "Acey" for Qwilfish, "Ducey" for Gloom, "Trey" for Aerodactyl, "Catherine" for Larvitar, "Cinque" for Bayleef and "Sice" for Duskull. (These names actually come from ancient words used in dice games.)

14. The first thing required for a battle is the moves. Go back to Serebii.net and look up the six Pokémon who are to be used. Choose the four moves that are, in your opinion, the most powerful ones that can be learned at the level in which the battle is to be held. In my case, they are as follows.
Acey - Revenge, Rain Dance, Pin Missile, Water Gun
Ducey - Stun Spore, Sleep Powder, Acid, Sludge Bomb
Trey - Wing Attack, Ancient Power, Supersonic, Flamethrower
Catherine - Rock Slide, Thrash, Sandstorm, Hyper Beam
Cinque - Razor Leaf, PoisonPowder, Synthesis, Giga Drain
Sice - Night Shade, Confuse Ray, Disable, Blizzard

15. Go to the LP Stat Calculator. Look up the stats of all Pokémon who are participating. Choose whatever nature you like. Put a "16" in each of the Individual Value boxes and an "85" in each of the Effort Point boxes, then let 'er rip! You should write the stats down on a piece of paper, as they will help you out immensely. In the example, the stats are:
Acey - HP 51, ATK 16, DEF 14, SAK 16, SDF 16, SPD 17
Ducey - HP 51, ATK 14, DEF 17, SAK 16, SDF 16, SPD 16
Trey - HP 51, ATK 16, DEF 16, SAK 16, SDF 14, SPD 17
Catherine - HP 51, ATK 14, DEF 16, SAK 17, SDF 16, SPD 16
Cinque - HP 51, ATK 16, DEF 17, SAK 16, SDF 16, SPD 14
Sice - HP 51, ATK 16, DEF 16, SAK 14, SDF 16, SPD 17

16. The battle now commences! If you have a whistle (or, like my gym teacher, can make a whistling sound effect using your mouth alone), blow it. If you don't, you can write "TWEEEEET!" on your piece of paper. Get ready for action; the first Pokémon on your team automatically goes out first, so I send out Acey (:qwilfish:) and Tamon sends out Catherine (:larvitar:).

17. It's time to make your move. Choose one of the four moves originally selected for your character. I am going to make Acey use Water Gun. If the used move is a damage-dealing attack such as Water Gun, go to step 18; otherwise, skip over 18 and head straight to 19.

18. To figure out any special effects that your attack may cause, roll the dice. If you get a one, the attack is said to miss, and will not do any damage. If you get a six, the attack is a critical hit and will do twice as much damage as it naturally would. Otherwise, the attack continues in the normal fashion.

19.